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Heart's
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October 22, 2008
hmmph Okay. So... I made it for DEP and i'm glad but gut feeling is telling me i confirmed not gonna make it for SYF. yeah second round of auditions made me feel proud that i could do it. So if I don't make it, I'm just gonna let go because trust me, that's one thing less to commit to, one thing less to focus on, one thing less to pressure myself with, one thing less to drain me. I shouldn't lose momentum. Just keep moving. I see a bollywood movie scene coming on and it ain't pretty. I'm just really pissed that DEP and HML clash on Mondays. Like @#!)#&$&^#% (looks good like that). So I really don't know what i should do cause i really want to do both. Both have equal priority. So you make me choose and I'll kick you in the crotch. I audition very stressful, killed all my neurons then you say i shouldn't do it. waste my energy right? Then I did OK for PSLE, enough to do HML and then you tell me, "maybe you should drop that if you want to do drama." I REALLY WANT TO DO BOTH. nothing can describe how pressured i feel now. so you just shut up. Don't tell me that you're sure i'll get what I want, don't tell me that it'll all work out. don't tell me that. it's not what i need right now... i just need to accept things as they come. I'm gonna learn to juggle, i'm gonna learn to be invincible so just watch me. (ten thousand years after I type all that) Why don't I write an excuse letter to excuse me from all the lessons on monday?! Like Nia did cause of AEP. but would daddy agree to it? hum hum. I kick myself liao. Labels: laying down and dying, sometimes i feel like crying
9:42 PM
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