I'm not sure how I feel right now. I'm so frustrated and disappointed and confused and my soul is crushed. I'm starting to feel insecure again and inadequate and it seems like nothing has changed. I don't know what I'm expected to do, what I should do or how to take this even. We're supposed to choose groups for DEP GS and this goes up with us all the way to A levels and we discussed it 7-8 pm today and groups have already started forming/ formed. Yet, I haven't got one. I haven't even been asked. This always happens. ALWAYS. I'm the one left out, forgotten. When I try to improve myself and ask people what they think I should improve on, all I ever get is "You're really nice and friendly :)" That doesn't help me. Not in the least. Not one bit. I don't even know if you're just saying it or if you actually mean it. Drama kids are such good actors. I know there's something off and I know it's my fault but no one's telling me what I'm doing wrong. I always end-up feeling like this. My friendships are never actually real, close ones. I've never really bonded with anyone. Most of my friendships were that of convenience. And since they are so superficial, they break easily. Suddenly, they become awkward and silent. I've never been particularly good with people but I'm not stupid or slow. I get it when you don't like me even when you say it's untrue. But I can never see the truth behind people's actions. Rarely ever. I'm so paranoid about this that I'm always second-guessing myself and putting myself down. I want this to stop or I might snap. I should learn not to react. Respond but not to react.