i have so much i wish i could say and yet can't form the words to express how i feel. my relationship with sam might end and the thought of that tears me up inside but it seems to me like the best possible choice unless we can work out our differences. religion is a big thing. there's only so much i can believe in right now. i wish you could have faith that i'd find my way sammy. i wish you hadn't lost your patience with me and i wish i didn't make you feel suffocated like this. i want you to have so many things but it hurts to know that maybe i can't be the one to give them to you.